


The Scratch Karaoke and it's Inhabitants

by Cookiewookie55



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Karaoke, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22205641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cookiewookie55/pseuds/Cookiewookie55
Summary: I've seen Dave do some incredibly dumb shit in the name of irony. Of course, I'd count the DUMBEST as buying an entire karaoke bar. Although, it's where I fell in love, so... I guess I can't exactly complain too much...Welcome, ladies and gents, to The Scratch karaoke bar! Here you'll see friendship, love, poor money management skills, and the dangers of doing it all for the irony! Join John and the rest of everyone as they enjoy each others company, despite dumb choices and copious amounts of alcohol.Credit for AU and like... pretty much everything else, really, goes to the best friend/editor/proofreader NB, thanks for all the help, friend!
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Jake English/Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Vriska Serket, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 19
Kudos: 8





	1. Genesis

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, the beginning of the only writing project I've actually been inspired to write. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. See you all at the end.

“Welcome to A Brief History of Skaia! I, John Egbert, will be your guide. It’s weird that you don’t already know all about this, but there’s no harm in explaining some of the weirder bits, so settle in, I won’t be taking much of your time here, I have friends to see. So let’s begin!  
As I’m sure you know, in the beginning there was Skaia, a bustling hub world full of people of all sorts, along with plenty of things to keep one entertained, and really just generally a really cool place

But, of course, Skaia wasn’t the only planet. Everybody had one, although to this day we don’t know why, what we _do_ know, is that they are the source of our abilities! Strange gifts we all possess that range from awesome hearing, to wind control, to time travel. Some of them get… kinda crazy.

Of course, people have needs, and one of those needs is reproduction. With so many people, Skaia simply couldn’t accommodate everyone. Staying on your own world was a pretty viable option, but Skaia was a very important place and people weren’t just going to stop coming down to it!

Now, this is where it gets weird, almost as if it could understand what was happening, Skaia started the Merging! Nobody is quite sure exactly what happened, but one day the planets were moving closer, and then suddenly - like magic- they were gone! Skaia was much larger too! It seemed to absorb the other planets into itself!

During the Merging, nobody was hurt. However, there was a mass blackout throughout the planets and Skaia. Everyone just woke up in houses, almost as if the cosmos themselves had seen to the needs of the people. 

Not long after, the planets reappeared, but where they had once simply vanished after the death of the person it was made for, they instead joined Skaia, enlarging the planet! Then another took its place soon after! It didn’t matter much, nobody spent much time on them anymore, and they mostly just existed to serve as a source of power.

Of course, they had other inhabitants, you should know about Denizens and the Salamanders that live there! Once the planet is absorbed, they are moved to Skaia, where they live in peace. I had a lot of sleepless nights over that until I learned they were safe!

Actually, that’s how my good friend Dave made all his money, he learned to use his time powers to play the stock market on his planet, that’s not what you’re here to hear though, but I thought it was interesting!” I stopped, quickly catching my breath. College speeches were goddamn hard, _especially_ ones that required this much research! I had hardly realized I was out of breath until I heard my professor, Doctor Scratch,(although he had us simply call him Doc Scratch) clear his throat, staring into my eyes.

“Mr. Egbert, do remember to breathe. Don’t suffocate on my account,” He paused for a second, considering what to say next. “You’ve certainly already reached the requirement for the assignment, even if you did make some remarks and off topic statements,” He then looked at me and smiled, a weird sight to behold, a man who looked so young with such stunningly white hair and blindingly white teeth. Being honest, he creeped me out. 

He laughed, and I thought for sure that meant I was done for. “Which means congratulations are in order! You’ve finished for the semester. I wasn’t sure if you could pull it off at first. You’ve proved me wrong.” He kept staring me down, his smile making me more and more uncomfortable by the moment. Whatever, I passed the year and that’s all I was worried about! Actually, his smile was still worrying. I mean, what was his problem?

“Thank you, Doctor Scratch. I really appreciate you allowing me to make this up, I was worried that I was screwed, but I just had such a hellish han-,” I stopped myself. I probably _shouldn’t_ tell him about the drinking. “-...such a hellish _fever_.” I said, my words sounding a little more suspicious then I meant them to be. He just chuckled, he laughed too much for a normal person in my opinion.

“I was young once, too. I know that you kids get up to some shenanigans. I used to be the same way, if you can believe it.” He smiled a bit less than usual, his face making it look like he was remembering a fond memory, but irritation soon took over. “As a matter of fact, some of my favorite college memories involve copious amounts of alcohol. Although, memories is a rather strong word for them. I don’t actually remember all that much about them!” He began his heinous laughter again, and this time I couldn’t help but to join in with him. It was weird to think he used to get up to the same stuff, I mean, he was so professional!

He smiled one last time at me, it was a closed mouth smile this time, much less creepy than it would be with his teeth showing. It almost seemed… friendly, like he wasn’t the possible psychopath I thought he was sometimes. This brought a smile out of me as well, surprisingly. He looked at me for a moment before speaking again. 

“Well, Mr. Egbert, that’s all there is to say on the matter. Do enjoy your summer, and when drinking, do your best not to get arrested. If you do, however… remember that bobby pins are great for unlocking handcuffs. I will see you in a couple months!”

That was the sketchiest advice I had ever been given, though the professor himself wasn’t exactly the most trustworthy seeming person. I took this opportunity to mutter out a quick thanks and abscond as fast as humanly possible. The only thought I had as I left was about just how lucky I was that he hadn’t realized that I never wrote a conclusion to the speech.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus our story truly begins! As of this moment, I have 2 chapters undergoing revisions and 1 more I'm still writing. Hopefully I'll have another up soon. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! This chapter was 1000+ words at last counting, although the paragraphs certainly looked a lot bigger in Google docs. Either way, I hope you guys are excited as me to see where it goes. Much love and be well!


	2. Scratches and Burgers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John finally arrives at The Scratch, grabs burgers with his bros, and appeases a drunk Roxy. Now featuring Space Cadet John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! 2 in one night, folks! Hopefully you enjoy this one as well, but who am I to tell you what to do? I will kindly request that you, of course, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

The 5 minute drive from college seemed to take a millenia, far more than it was to get there. The drive to get to Dave’s Karaoke bar, The Scratch, left me to my thoughts as I watched the familiar scenery go by. Everyone I knew was already out for the summer, lucky bastards. Once I parked outside, I made sure to shoot Dave a text.

JOHN: hey dave! i’m finally out for the summer! you guys here at the scratch, or should i come back later?

DAVE: shit dude finally we were starting to think that scratch had just fucking killed you or raped you or some combination of the two

DAVE: actually how do we know he didnt maybe this is him and youre actually dead OH WAIT JUST KIDDING WE HEARD YOUR CAR DIPSHIT ITS THE WORLDS BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT

JOHN: hey you know full well that it’s perfectly fine! actually, it’s a pretty great car! either way, that was a lot of words just to say yes. ill be there in a second!  


Despite how unfunny it was, I laughed anyways. He was pretty funny, but I try my best not to inflate his ego with it. I unbuckled my seatbelt and sat there for a second, alll things considered, Dave was right about my car. It was an old silver 2005 Mercury Sable, in a state of general disrepair, dings and dents and a discolored drivers side door. Once, he had joked that it was why I couldn’t get girls. It wasn’t the car’s fault, but I’m sure it didn’t help things, either.

Finally, I exited my car and there I was, staring at the entrance to one of Dave’s weirdest and stupidest ironic gestures. What kind of person buys a karaoke bar just for the irony? Dave Strider, that’s who. At least it made a good hangout spot, and not once did Dave ever even mention any of us needing a card for the alcohol, which was reasonable since we were his friends and he drank a fair bit himself. We all just sort of hoped that the cops didn’t crack down on the place.

The thought of summer made me smile, and I pushed open the doors to the place that would be my home away from home for the next few months, The Scratch Karaoke Bar. The minute I took my first step in, I heard cheering. Glancing at the back, at the booth we tended to hang out in. The whole gang was there, along with a banner reading “jegus fuck finally john”, courtesy of a certain albino.

“Well, John, how does it feel?” asked Jade, a beaming smile affixed to her face as she spoke. 

“It feels amazing, I’m finally catching up with you guys-” I had only just started to speak when Roxy handed me a drink to interrupt me, something I should have figured she would do.

“No, you still have some catching up to do, I’m a few drinks deep already!” She slurred out at me. I had figured she was already drunk, but that was just how Roxy worked, if she wasn’t drunk off her ass, something was wrong. She was still a great friend though, even with her all day drinking. I took the drink, figuring there was no harm since I was here to celebrate anyways.

I sat down with my friends, sipping the drink Roxy had given me. It was something fruity, which was a bit impressive, because she either gave me her drink of god knows what or forgot I didn’t like the taste of beer, and either way it was nice of her. It was incredibly sweet, so while it was good at first, I figured I would have to switch it up on my next drink. It was then that I realized I had spaced out entirely and Rose had been trying to get my attention. This happened quite a bit, actually, at one point, Dave actually started calling me “Space Cadet”!

“John, are you ok? Drunk already?” She was clearly joking, and even though I wasn’t looking at her, I could hear the calm smile in her voice.

“I’m sorry, just spaced out a little. It’s been a long day is all.” I returned her smile in kind, trying to look asok as possible. Even though I knew everything was fine, I felt off. This was a big day for me, with the end of my first year of college! I guess it was just a bit...lackluster?.

“So, what’s the plan, big man?” Dave inquired, before adding a suggestion of his own. “If you’re hungry, I could buy some food? Pick any shitty fast food place you like.” He pulled his wallet from his pocket and placed it on the table. 

After some careful consideration, I finally thought of where I wanted to eat. “Uh… Burger Queen sounds pretty good right now, actually.” And just like that, he was up.

“Dope. But I have one condition,” He pointed at me for emphasis, “we take my car. Because it isn’t falling apart like cereal left in the milk too long.” He dangled his keys in the air, making it clear that he wasn’t budging on the matter. I didn’t really mind that much.

Just a few minutes later, we had all arrived at one of my favorite crappy fast food places. I had spaced out again in the car yet again, wondering why they were making such a big deal out of this. Then I realized, they had all completed their freshman year of college, and that I was the last one. We had done the same thing for them, it just felt weird because this one was for me alone. Then’s when I realized that the gang was, in fact, _not_ all here. I was curious as to why, and that’s when Dave threw a wrapper at me, hitting me smack dab in the forehead. His aim was perfect, as usual, and I almost slapped him.

“You’re spacing out again, dude. You sure you’re ok?” He seemed genuinely concerned, but as far as I knew I was fine. 

“Yeah dude. I promise I’m fine.” For whatever reason, it was all I could think to say, aside from the obvious. “Hey Dave?” I paused, trying to find the right words. “Where are Jane and Jake at? Also, where’s Dirk? I know they’re all out right now.” I must have sounded incredibly concerned, because he answered incredibly quick.

“They’re just out of town right now! They had to go visit someone or something, I forget who. Although, I don’t have the slightest clue why they all went together. Either way, don’t worry.” He seemed to be telling the truth, although in the sketchiest manner possible, wonder why everyone was being so suspicious today?. I decided to believe it, and continue eating. Or, at least, as best I could with Roxy sitting next to me drunk as can be.

“Jooooooohnny booooy-!” She was clearly unsure of what she was saying, stopping here and there to get her next word figured out, kinda like when you have to stop thinking when you hear your own voice echoing back at you in a Voice Chat or something. “I’m just so proud of you! You’ve come sooooooo far!” She hugged me, the smell of booze strong on her. I was just surprised she hadn’t gotten us kicked out yet, although, I came here so much that the staff and I were on a first name basis. It probably helped. I muttered a quick thanks as I finished eating. She wasn’t through yet, though.

“Hey!” She looked at Dave, gasping like she had just had the best idea in the whole world. “How did you and John meet?” She inquired, a story that she had asked to hear before, but we had never told her. This got the wheels turning in my head, it wouldn’t hurt to tell her now would it? Making sure everyone had finished eating, I decided to get her back to The Scratch before she got arrested. 

“I’ll tell you when we get back to the bar.” I grinned at Rose and Jade, who had been sitting there trying to be quiet, and got a small look of approval from Rose, whilst Jade just smiled back at me. Roxy was out as quick as possible, and the rest of us soon followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, now we're down to 1 chapter in the editing process and 1 chapter being written. Next time, both of those numbers will be bigger hopefully. This one was 1400+ words, most of which was thanks to revisions made by NB. Thanks for reading. Much love and be well. also screw html. Took me like an hour to find out how to colortext.


	3. Dave And John, an origin story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy is drunk. How would one go about appeasing her? Well, exposition tends to work wonders!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom! Another chapter up. This one is plot, necessary plot. There will be more plot later, but not now. Enjoy an origin that is almost entirely ripped from Homestuck, but I've still tried to change it. See you at the end.

After our triumphant return to The Scratch, which was plagued with Roxy’s obnoxious comments of “Can’t you go any faster? I wanna hear the story!” and things like that, we all comfortably settled back into the booth, only for her to continue whining like a spoiled child. This was when I realized that neither me nor Dave had ever told the others how we met. Everything has a first time, and I supposed this was it.

“Well, I suppose it’s story time! Settle in, everyone!” I stated in my best fancy booming voice, getting a few chuckles. Clearly I was still the master of comedy, not like anyone else really stood a chance. “It’s time to begin our tale… The tale of how I met this ironic albino douche!” I put an arm around Dave’s shoulder and pulled him to me, for emphasis. No use stalling anymore, this was it!.

“It was my thirteenth birthday, six years ago now, in 2013. I had just gotten my latest gift, a Howie Mandel in Little Monsters poster, when I hopped onto Pesterchum to see what I could see…”

\---

Today is my thirteenth birthday. What a weird thought. I’ve finally reached this milestone, and everything feels… different. Like something big is going to happen! Outside of this amazingly epic Little Monsters poster I’ve been gunning for! My dad is the best. But right now, I have bigger fish to fry. Finally trying this Pesterchum app. I’ve had it for a month, but no chums to pester. Due to this, I’m finally going to try the “Find a Chum” feature, it was new to the platform so no one really used it, but it’ll connect me to someone else who’s also clicked the button.

As I clicked the button on my mouse, I wondered how long it would take for me to find success, but I’ve already found a match, so I suppose no more time for that! I wonder what they’re like!.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG} \--

TG: sup  
EB: heya!   
TG: aight who the hell am i talking to and am i gonna get raped  
EB: my name is john! and no, i’m not gonna rape you.  
TG: im dave and who knows maybe im the rapist here  
EB: somehow i doubt it. nice to meet you, dave!</p >

  
TG: likewise  
TG: a/s/l  
TG: age/species/lane  
TG: ill start  
TG: human male 14 hottest fucking part of the world apparently  
EB: im also a human male, age 13, in a suburban area.

Dave cut into the story. “Dude, I so could’ve been a rapist. We were dumbass kids.” He seemed surprised, as if he had never even considered the fact. 

“Well,” I smiled at him. I was all smiles today, wasn’t I?. “neither of us has raped the other yet, so I’d say we did pretty good!” I was right and he knew it. “Anywho, back to the story. We talked for hours about life and what we liked, and I came to realize that he was pretty cool, and then I mentioned my new poster…”

TG: what kind of sick loot did you rake in today  
TG: since its your birthday and all</p >

EB: i got this dope little monsters poster! literally the coolest. i love the apple juice bit the most.  
TG: what a coincidence because i just found this unopened bottle of apple juice in my closet  
TG: christmas in this bitch

EB: have you seen little monsters staring howie mandel?  
TG: dont even suggest that my apple juice was pissed in thats impossible and thats all there is to say on the matter

He interrupted again. “It’s your fault that I didn’t drink that apple juice Egbert! I could’ve been so HAPPY!” He shouted the last bit, fake crying as if he took true offense to it, holding a fist before him and shaking it like an angry old man. I had other things on my mind. 

“Jegus fuck Dave, let me tell the story. I will BUY you apple juice,” this time it was my turn to pull my wallet out, “but just let me finish before Roxy starts crying. Now, AS I WAS SAYING, I wasn’t so convinced.”

EB: look dude, i’m just saying that monster howie mandel could totally reseal a bottle with dope monster powers. no doubt about it.  
TG: FUCK NO impossible dude why cant i just enjoy some juice why  
EB: hey man, its not my fault.  
TG: whatever man  
TG: i gotta go for now but ill message you again  
TG: its been a lot of fun man very good to meet you  
EB: see you dave! i enjoyed talking to you too! 

\-- turntechGodhead  [TG]  has ceased pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] \--

“And from there -” I did a small dramatic motion with my hands, a wave of my hands, “- a beautiful friendship formed! He moved here before his first year of college and we’ve hung out just about every day since!” I grinned at Dave, who gave me a small half smile in return, it was just about the most any of us were going to get in the way of a smile. It felt weird to finally tell this story, although I didn’t know why we had both refused to in the past. Maybe we just wanted to be an enigma?

Roxy was tearing up. I could tell she was going to cry soon. “That’s so beautiful! You tell the best stories John. Why wouldn’t you ever say it before though? It’s so nice…” She was tearing up even more. She was hammered as hell and it was only around 4:30. I decided that answering before she began bawling her eyes out was the best course of action.

“I don’t actually know, to be honest. I don’t think there’s a reason for it. It was just like some kind of secret that didn’t need to be a secret.” Now I was confused, because I still didn’t know what took so long. I decided not to question it anymore. Roxy yawned, tears gone in a flash.

“I’m tired. I’m gonna take a nap. Thanks for the bedtime story, John.” And just like that, she moved to another booth and promptly went to sleep. God this was a weird day. How can she just sleep like that?

“So, that was weird, right?” Rose finally spoke her first words since we got back. 

“Yea, that was really weird.” Jade chimed in. I had forgotten they were here, they were good listeners. 

That’s when Dave finally voiced his opinion. “Eh. Bitches be trippin. Just ignore it. Now, let’s think of something to do.” And so, of course, we did just as he’d suggested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter finished! This one was 1,100+ words, edited as always by the amazing NB, and honestly I'm kinda proud of it. I know some people don't like backstory, but I like writing it. Don't worry, it'll be a chapter or 2 before there's any more. I hope you enjoyed reading! Much love and be well. See you soon. Also, feel free to leave comments for any reason, and feel free to bookmark. I can't promise it'll be soon, but I can promise more. Thank you all.


	4. Movies and Psychobabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's movie night! Join the gang as they watch The Dark Knight and Rose gets a little TOO into it. John has a conscience, and Roxy is still drunk! All this and not much more!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another upload at last! Sorry it's been so long. I've got 1 more that's totally finished that just needs to be uploaded, so expect that tonight or tomorrow. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. See you at the end.

After about 20 minutes of brainstorming, it was unanimously decided that we would watch a movie in the “staff room”, which was really just the store room, but Dave had decided to put his Xbox in it, and told us it was the staff room. None of us felt like waiting for anyone else to show up, so we unanimously agreed on movie night, I mean, everyone loves movie night! We left Roxy asleep, because none of us quite felt like dealing with a drunk Roxy, either. 

After getting into the staff room, we all sat down on the floor, since Dave was a dumbass and decided chairs were unnecessary and sitting on the cold floor instead was obviously the superior option. However, none of us really did anything to rectify the issue, so I guess we can’t complain. Maybe someday there would be chairs, but that day was surely not today.

“Hey, bitches,” Dave snapped me out of my thoughts, using his best commanding voice, he continued, “my Xbox, my pick. We’re watching The Dark Knight.” No one really complained as he turned on the console, not having to insert the disc since it was already in. He turned it on and we all fell silent. Or we would’ve gone silent if we weren’t already.

Around halfway through the movie, Jade piped up. “Why are these convicts being nice to each other? If they were really criminal, they would jump at the chance to blow the others up for freedom. Somebody would, at least.” She was clearly overthinking things, but it got Rose’s attention, as she responded with her psychobabble.

“Well, maybe it stems from a desire to defy authority and go against the rules set for them. In this case, the Joker is as close as they have to an authority figure, so they want to defy his demands and go against what is expected of them. Reasonably, they know it won’t work, but that won’t stop them from trying. Besides, either way they either die how they lived or they stay in prison.” She was bringing up some good points, but I could tell she wasn’t quite done yet. Rose _never_ stopped with such a short explanation. “Also, the ones who weren’t hardcore criminals wouldn’t do anything because they know they could easily be stopped by the worse ones. There’s no winning through action. Inaction was the only choice.” She concluded, pausing shortly, likely to ensure she had said all there was to say on the matter and gather counter arguments in her head. 

Dave, Jade, and I simply stared at her, awestruck at her unnecessary analysis of a fictional scenario. Jade didn’t seem to know what to say, until she finally took a breath and looked at Rose.

“I really wasn’t even expecting that. Congratulations, Rose. You’ve done probably the most in depth analysis of a bunch of unnamed criminals in media.” She looked genuinely impressed. Dave stood up, extending a hand to her.

“Wow. That’s really all there is to say on the matter.” After Dave spoke, Rose stood, shaking his hand and grinning, clearly knowing she had us all stumped as to why she would actually think so much about it. Of course she did, though. After all, she was the queen of psychology. Deciding I wanted to add some input, I finally chimed in.

“Rose, you’re crazy! That’s the best thing I’ve heard all year, and I listened to scratch ramble on about his absolute complete hatred for the ellipsis! This tops that, and I never thought that was possible. Congratulations.” I honestly wish I would have recorded that. It was just one of those moments. You know the one, where it’s just so perfect and you don’t think about the phone sitting in your pocket until the moments already passed, then you begin to think _how_ you hadn’t thought to get the phone and make that moment more memorable.

After we got done flipping out about Rose, we finally got back to the movie. Surprisingly, it was finished without further incident, and I stood up to use the bathroom, having not done so all day. However, when I returned, I saw an only slightly sober Roxy waiting for me. I don’t know why I was surprised really.

“John!” She grabbed me, a serious look in her eyes. “Everyone’s disappeared! I don’t know where they are! Help!” I realized that she had no idea that everyone was in the staff room, so I figured I would have a little fun with her. After sending a little text to Dave and the others explaining what I intended to do, I put on my best surprised face.

“Oh no! Where could they have gone?” I tried my best to sound as confused as possible. Sure, it was a little mean to act like I had no idea what was going on, but I wanted to have a little fun with her. After all, it was every day she got drunk early, but it wasn’t every day I got to take advantage of it. This could be the best prank yet!

Her face lit up, a familiar look that she only had when she finally got an idea. “Let’s find them!” She looked so proud of herself. I really didn’t think I could go through with it. She just seemed so… concerned. I didn’t think toying with her was a good idea, but the thought of such a good prank was so tempting. Begrudgingly, I decided that I should just come clean. Of course, I was still going to play along until we got to them. 

“Wait! I bet they’re in the staff room!” I raised a finger in my best detective impression, and she smirked at me. “I bet you’re right, Mr. Detective. Let’s go find those friends!” And thus, we ran off to the staff room. They were there, just as expected. Then Roxy turned to me, chuckling.“I guess you truly are a detective now! You were right, but don’t expect me to pay you!” She tried to sound serious, but it was clear she was joking. I kept it going, responding with “Well, that sure is too bad, I might have to call the cops on you!” But before she could respond, Dave chimed in. 

“If I have to watch you guys make goo-goo eyes at each other for one more minute, I'm going to spoon my own eyeballs out. Do you guys wanna watch a movie, or call the others around?” There was no question. We all agreed that it was time to call the much bigger part of the friend group, the Trolls, as I called them, to The Scratch for some karaoke. And that’s when Roxy said something that threw me off entirely.

“I wonder… do you guys think Vriska will show up this time?” She wondered out loud. But that wasn’t the concerning part. The concerning part was that I had never met Vriska! I had heard about her before, but she always seemed to be busy. I had never realized that we hadn’t met at any point. However, I somehow knew we would meet soon. Like a 6th sense, similar to Doc Scratches sense of when it was 4/13 or 4:13! Except, not at all!

For now though, we had to start the incredibly annoying process of contacting them. They were always… more than a little difficult to get a hold of. I hoped it went well this time. Of course, I figured it wouldn’t. It never really did, if I was honest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down, this one clocking in at 1,100+ words. Feel free to bookmark if you want, and leave a comment about anything if you want! More to come VERY soon. Like, V E R Y soon. Special thanks always to NB for all the help (speaking of, NB may or may not have a surprise for you guys at some point in the future). Much love and be well.


	5. Dumbstruck, or maybe just drunk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An... inebriated John finally meets Vriska, and it's love at first sight. Just pure fluff. Nothing but fluff. Also underage drinking. Also my second favorite chapter. My favorite is coming soon, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one is down! Just 1 more being edited, with 1 to be written tonight. I hope you enjoy the fluff that I have for you today. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.

Dave was silent, aside from the muttering of what he was about to send. It had been a full ten minutes since he’d started texting Karkat, and in that time we had gotten all of the other trolls to join us. Apparently, Roxy had even managed to get Vriska to attempt to come, as she wasn’t actually very busy today. She told me I was going to like her, and Roxy is usually right about these things. Though, I wondered if it was true. 

Gamzee agreed as soon as we asked, as he always did. He liked hanging out with us, though we all were  _ really _ careful not to let anyone touch the pie. Anything that green and...well,  _ glowy _ definitely wasn’t good for you. Tavros was much of the same, and usually brought some board games and other things to keep some of the others occupied, we actually had a ramp built into The Scratch just for him.

However, Karkat was a douche, and this time was no exception. Despite being my favorite of all of the Trolls, he was still renowned for his temper and unwillingness to cooperate. Dave had been updating us frequently, and it seemed like Karkat wasn’t going to show up. This was always how it went. It was a bit concerning after a while, actually.

This time, however, it was different. Karkat was being a lot more difficult, and was so much ruder than usual. It started with him saying he didn’t want to be here with Gamzee, because he would make him sing. This was true, but it didn’t stop him before. Then he changed the reason, and said he was busy and has been all day. Dave shut him down because he had seen that he was playing his Xbox earlier, which he, in fact,  _ wouldn’t  _ have done if he was busy.

That was five minutes ago, and he seemed to keep making excuses, and then finally Dave spoke again. “Fuck. I need to go. I’ll be back, eventually, and I’ll probably have Karkat with me.” He seemed… hesitant. But he was blushing, which was unusual for him. I wanted to tease him, but something in my gut told me it would be a bad idea. I mean, we worked pretty hard for Dave to show any emotion really, so I guess teasing him would only make it worse right now.

“Dave, is everything okay?” Jade seemed worried, and of course she did. Not only did something seem off with Dave, but Karkat was seeming even weirder. Rose piped up as well. “Is Karkat in some kind of trouble? Do we need to come with you?” Rose put a hand on his shoulder, showing her concern.

Dave had a very weird look on his face, yelling “NO!” and then getting his car keys. “I mean…” He stopped, but only temporarily. “I think I should go alone. It’s nothing bad. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon, alright guys?”

We all nodded in agreement. An angry Dave, a truly angry one, was a sight nobody wanted to see. Even a simple yell was enough for us to realize we shouldn’t push the issue. Dave Strider was not an angry man. He rarely got angry at anything, sometimes we even wondered if he  _ could _ be angry. However, it was obvious that this was a serious thing, even if nobody was in danger, so I dropped it, and the others did too. He muttered a quick sorry and a goodbye before leaving briskly and driving away. 

“Dude, they’re  _ toooooooootally  _ gonna fuck.” Roxy was cackling like a witch, her face turning red as a fire truck from either imagining the sight I didn’t wanna see, or from even more alcohol. “I totally saw the texts, and I guarantee one of them is coming back with hickies.” She was doubled over, her words hard to understand through the laughter. I believed it, though.

Karkat was always kinda weird around Dave, and Rose had used her super psychology powers or whatever and told us all that she was certain he was crushing hard on Dave, and the way Dave looked when he was talking to Karkat wasn’t very good if it was supposed to be a poker face. Around this time, Roxy handed me a drink. I looked at it in curiosity, it wasn’t booze for once.

“Here, I know you like Coke, so I took the liberty of getting you one.” She seemed innocent enough, but I wasn’t so sure. I sniffed it and it smelled okay, but I still had to ask.    
“What did you do to it?” She put on her most innocent face and waved her hand. 

“Your baseless accusations mean nothing, but if you don’t want it, oh well.” She was trying to trick me, but I couldn’t help myself, I mean- the fizzy drink is just so  _ good _ . I chugged it down like a rabid college student drank coffee on exam day. It was nice thinking those days were over, at least for a bit.

It was spiked, it wasn’t even a question and I really should have expected it. Being honest, it tasted like rotten ass. Worse then the weird concoction me and Dave made for Rose’s birthday in middle school. God, I didn’t even want to think about that thing. It was too late to stop drinking the vile substance, so I kept going. I was gonna regret it, I knew I was going to regret it, Roxy knew I was going to regret it, I’m pretty sure everyone knew I was going to regret it. Roxy was cackling again, and Rose and Jade were getting onto her case about it. 

“Guys, it’s fine. I knew the risks.” I did my best to quiet them, and it worked, but they still cast sideways glances at her for the next few minutes, which were uneventful. After a bit, I felt weird. I was drunk. Roxy never did alcohol by halves. How much did she even put in here?

In my stupor of wondering just how absolutely smashed I would be, I heard the door open. That door - god that door changed my life forever. I expected it to be Gamzee or Tavros, but in walked a tall girl with long raven black hair, darkish blue eyeshadow and lip gloss, and an eyepatch. She was wearing a black shirt with a spider on it, and a gray jacket, as well as combat boots. Who the hell wears those anymore?

It didn’t matter, I didn’t care. One look and I was smitten. Holy shit was she pretty, like super model pretty. I tried to greet her, the words dying in my throat, ending in me with my mouth open like a stupid guy trying to land a popcorn into his mouth by tossing it. Except that guy was drunk, hazy, and gaping at a girl that just happened to make his fanboy-crushes on Matthew McConaughey and Nic Cage seem like distant memories

Then she looked at me and smiled, a small, polite smile that seemed so stupidly stunning. “Hello! Nice to meet you! I’m Vriska.” Her voice was as smooth as butter and sweet as honey. Sure, its the most cliche thing you could say, but she just… transcended all of that. Holy shit, what was in that drink? Again, it didn’t matter, hell I couldn’t care she was...damn she was just so damned attractive right now. I could tell that I was only gonna be falling harder from here. For once, I honestly didn’t mind that I looked like a complete idiot.

Finally, I got up the courage to greet her. “Heya… I’m John! You might have… uh… heard about me? I’ve heard a lot about you…” I paused, panicking. My brain was not working, like someone decided to spill this weird-ass spiked cola all over the guts of my brain. “Not in a weird way! Roxy has-” 

She cut me off. “Its okay. She’s told me a lot about you, too! Although, I wasn’t expecting you to be so cute…” I felt my face heat up and saw the other three girls smirking at me. Maybe her thinking I was cute was a good sign, was it? Hell if I knew. I would just have to wait and see how it went!

She sat down next to me, smirking at me, I knew I still looked as embarrassed as I did when she walked in, probably bright red. That’s when Roxy pulled me out of the booth. I was surprised by this, I didn’t even know she could pull me at all, much less out of a booth like that. I went straight over the back and over the little wall divider thingy! However, I was more surprised when she leaned into my ear and told me what her game was.

“John. I’m gonna get you and Vriska together.” Well, at least she was honest. “You’re single and cute, and so is she, and I feel like you guys could be so cute together!” She looked as if she was daydreaming. 

I had to interject, though, I may be kinda out of it but I still had rational thought! Kinda... “We haven’t even met before! This is my first time even seeing her!” I should’ve realized that this wasn’t gonna work, ugh curse my wishful thinking. “

That’s why you get to know each other! Go on dates and stuff!” She smiled her “match-maker grin”, as we liked to call it, and put her hands on her hips as she awaited my answer.

Well, being honest, I couldn’t argue with that logic. I hadn’t been on a date in a very embarrassing amount of time. It made me feel like a pubescent teen again - awkward and confused. She ushered me back into the booth next to Vriska, and I decided that this was it. This was when I would plant the seed that would lead to me finally going on a date for the first time in… over 3 years? Fuck I was hopeless. I faced her, and saw her already looking at me and smiling. And then, I decided that this would be worth it. So I said the only thing my dumb, stupid, idiotic brain could think of.

“Uh… You… come here often?” Wow I was dumb. Of course not! What the hell was my problem? But then, she started laughing and god did it sound heavenly. 

“No, but if you’re here I suppose I could try to make it a little more often. I’ve heard a lot about you. It would be nice to speak more.” She was still smiling, a radiant glowing sun localized on her face. How the hell did that work? I didn’t know, I didn’t care, but I sure hoped she didn’t mind stupidity, because I mean I am the human composition of pure stupidity right now. 

I could tell this was the start of something, though. I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad, but it was definitely a  _ something _ . I decided that maybe I should trust Roxy. She really did have my best interests, and probably Vriska’s too, in her heart. The least I could do was make an attempt to get to know her. And if all went well… I couldn't say it wouldn’t be nice. But, maybe I was just REALLY drunk. Okay, so I was most definitely drunk off my ass, but that still didn’t crush my hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the new longest chapter, clocking in at 1,900+ words! I didn't want to stop writing, nor did I know where to. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Next chapter will be John and Vriska getting to know each other, so be on the lookout. As always, feel free to leave a comment about anything you like, or bookmark if you want to know as soon as I update, and special thanks to NB for doing the editing. Much love and be well!


	6. Face-First into Dateville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very drunk John finally sets up a date. Alcohol is the social lubricant, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this took so long to get out. I promise more is "finished" and uploads will resume soon. I will explain at the end. Also, davekat. much davekat.

I felt weird, sitting there next to her, at least drunk enough to be more awkward than normal. She smelled nice, maybe I could tell her that? No, very stupid, bad John. Very bad John, that’s creepy and it sounds weird. Ask about her eyepatch? Probably too personal, also a very bad idea. And then she broke the ice, thank Gog and Jegus.

“So, do you... “ She seemed to not have thought this through, as she was clearly thinking of what she was trying to say as she went along. “Do you like movies?” She seemed confident, and I was sure Roxy had told her I liked movies, but I wasn’t going to pass this up. Clearly she wanted to converse. Step one, converse with her. You can do it John, just speak words, but not stupid words.

“I do! I love movies! A lot of the time, the others make fun of me for some of the movies I like, but I still love them.” She smiled again, the radiance from before not dimmed in the slightest. I took that as a sign of the ok. I did okay! I didn’t scare her off! Oh wait she’s opening her mouth to speak, stop monologuing! 

“That’s cool! I like movies a lot, too. My favorite actor is Nick Ca-” 

I cut her off, borderline screaming. “No way! Nick Cage is the best!” Her smile transformed to a grin, which was the best thing I had seen all year. Hell, the best thing I had seen my entire li- actually no, Dave in a tutu was the best thing in my life.

“Oh my god you’re cute AND you like Nick Cage? This is why Roxy was trying to set me up with you. It all makes sense now!” She started to chuckle, but it died in her throat. “I wasn’t supposed to mention that, was I?” She seemed genuinely worried. It was adorable, too adorable. 

“No, it’s okay. She told me she was trying to set us up.” Thank god she knew, that makes things easier, no matter how they go.“I understand if you’re not okay with it, though. I wouldn’t hold it against you!” I made sure she knew I wasn’t expecting anything to come of this, because otherwise I might seem… weird.

“No! I’m totally down to see what happens, but I need you to understand some things first. Ok?” She got very serious, her smile disappearing and her voice lowering. 

“Alright? I guess lay it on me.” I was worried that something bad was coming. She continued. 

“I’m _not the greatest_ person. I’ve done some VERY bad things in the past, and I’m trying my hardest to be better but…..… John, I’m a bad person. And I could very well hurt you, I just don’t _want_ to hurt you.” She was trying to maintain her composure, but her eyes were simply sad. Somehow, I felt it.

“I understand. As long as you want to change, then that’s what matters! Everyone deserves another chance!” Chalk it up to endless optimism, but I truly believed that she couldn’t be that bad. She smiled again, a smaller, more vulnerable one that shone just as bright. 

“Thank you, John. Now, let’s get talking before Roxy starts talking for us, eh?” She was right. I could see Roxy inching toward us, and I wasn’t eager to see how that would go. 

“So. Best Nick Cage film. Go.” She stared me down expectantly, but I didn’t miss a beat. “Con Air, hands down. No doubts.” I smirked at her, and she gasped. “Ok, she told you that was my favorite didn’t she? The put the bunny in the box scene is iconic and that movie is PEAK Cage. That’s really all there is to say on the matter.” I couldn’t believe it. FInally, someone who understood my love of Con Air and old bunnies.

“No I’m serious! Actually, last year Dave bought me the bunny from the movie! I have it sitting in a shadowbox in my room. It is my prized possession.” I was very excited to share this with someone who wouldn’t find it super weird. “He probably did it because the year before, I bought him those sunglasses, which Ben Stiller actually wore! Ironically, of course.” Clearly she knew Dave pretty well because she started to crack up at this.

“You bought him those? You are the king of gifts, clearly. Although, I may have to see that rabbit sometime, to verify its authenticity.” She grinned again, but I felt there was some truth to her words. From there, the conversation was just natural. We talked for 2 hours, uninterrupted. We learned we had a lot in common. We both loved “bad” (great) movies, games, and just being around people we cared about. 

“No way you actually mained Meta Knight. I refuse to believe it.” A look of clearly feigned disappointment plastered on her face, a small smile threatening to break though. “No I was just so bad at the game! Nowadays in Brawl I play as Luigi though. In Ultimate I play a lot of Luigi, because I just really like him.” I would defend Luigi to my grave. “Luigi is respectable. But speaking of, I’d kick your ass at Mario Kart any day.” 

She had a boastful smirk on her face, but my Mario Kart was untouchable. “Nope. No way. I refuse to believe that my GOD TIER Mario Kart game could be matched.” Rose, Jade, and Roxy all nodded. All had tried. All had failed. Then, I decided to take the plunge and take it a step farther. “But maybe… maybe if you want, you could… come by some time? And.. test that theory?” I could tell my face was as red as Dave’s eyes, I felt the heat from my cheeks and couldn’t stop it.

Then she laughed. A very loud, very beautiful laugh. I had sobered up mostly, but my opinions on her looks and voice still stood. I figured I had gone a bit too far. She was gonna call me weird, leave, and never come back. It never occurred to me that she might actually agree. I wish Gamzee could have popped in, talking about his “MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS”.

“John, I would love that. You sir, have got yourself a date.” She held her hand out to me, to shake. I had no idea why, and it hardly registered with my mind simply repeating “ohshitohshitohshitshesaidyeswatdo” and me flipping out a bit about it. After a moment, and a literal nudge from Roxy, I shook her hand and grinned like an idiot. “Cool. Good to hear that.”

Holy damn that was lame. But it all worked out in the end. And then she snapped me back to reality. “Can I get your number?” Oh crap, I was actually being asked for my number. I gave her my number and she texted me a smile. It was adorable. Then she hugged me. The last thing I was expecting. 

“I can’t wait. You seem like a pretty great guy. But, the others will probably be here soon so we don’t have much longer to talk!” She pulled away, and my attention turned to the fact that I had forgotten that other people were supposed to come. I was a scatterbrain today, frankly. And then, the door opened, and in walked Dave and Karkat, covered in hickies just like Roxy had said at least one of them would be. Damn, she was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy this took way too long to get out. It's been setting finished and unedited for a few months, and after a lot of stuff happened, I no longer have an editor. Me and NB are still great friends, however, she simply couldn't keep doing it consistently because she is very busy, which I understand. However, I have one or two more chapters sitting finished and unedited, and as I don't think I'll find another editor anytime soon, they'll be out soon. A lot of personal stuff has happened and I haven't had any will to write, but with this coronavirus thing, that spark has rekindled. More very soon. Enjoy. Much love and be well.


	7. At Long Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DaveKat, and a long overdue update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops

This was the second best thing I had seen today, directly after everything to do with Vriska. I had never mentioned it, but I thought they would make a cute couple. Karkat and Dave were similar in a way. Dave tries to always look very cool and untouchable, but he’s a softie from Texas underneath all his masks. Karkat tries to seem like an angry leader who’s better than everyone, but deep down he truly cares about us, even if he doesn’t show it a lot.

It always seemed that they complimented each other so well, balancing each other out. Dave didn’t try as hard to be cool around Karkat, and Karkat seemed just that much nicer around Dave. It was noticeable. However, Karkat had changed recently. He had gotten weirder around Dave, acting like a fool. 

Of course it was pretty obvious as to why he was acting this way, but we all assumed that they both chose to ignore it as to not make it any weirder. This didn’t work. But I guess it finally reached a point. Or maybe I am reading way too deep into things and they just fucked. Either way, it was clear that they knew they messed up when they entered.

“FUCK!” Of course Karkat was the first to say anything. He looked at himself and Dave. “You asshole…” He glared at the red clad man next to him. “You told me they would be gone by now! Guess what?” Dave gave a soft chuckle in response. “Kars, I didn’t realize. I’m very sorry. What’s my punishment? I will warn you, I think we got most of the potential punishment out of the way at your place.” Oh yeah. If there was doubt before, there wasn’t now. They fucked.

Karkat turned red. “I think the actual hours it took to get here gave that away, Dave. I tried to warn you-” Roxy cut him off. “You guys had sex, didn’t you! I called it!” Dave smirked. “You know it! He just couldn’t resist me.” Then Karkat cut in. This was chaos. “Your idea, David. Don’t forget that this was your idea.” I turned to Vriska, not interested in hearing them argue about who wanted who’s dick.

“That was entirely expected.” I looked at her, surprised she had said it before I had. “Yeah, it was pretty obvious that it was gonna happen someday.” I responded, grinning at her. She continued. “I could feel it. It happens a lot, where I can just feel something is gonna happen, and my guesses tend to be right. Chalk it up to my amazing luck.” She flashed a charming half smile at me, and I blushed.

“That’s kinda awesome, having that kind of luck. I wish I could do that. My power is-” She me off. Then she finished my sentence. “You’ve got wind powers. Am I right?” Holy shit she was right. “Yeah, wind powers. I can do windy things. When I told Sollux, he just said kinky. He does that a lot…” She snickered. “He really does, doesn’t he? Every time. He’s cool though.” She wasn’t wrong, he was my cool hacker friend. 

“I hope he shows up soon. I’ve been wanting to run some coding ideas by him. He’s been helping me a lot, since I’ve been wanting to learn to code. I have a lot of really cool stuff I wanna show him, maybe he can give me some tips, too. He’s a lot of help! Actually, he’s been super patient-” Vriska was laughing.

Oh man, I may have rambled a bit too much. She was laughing, was that a bad thing? “John, you are the single cutest thing, person or otherwise, to ever exist. I cannot believe it.” Oh, I guess it was a good thing. “Well, thank you Vriska! You’re also very… cute....” Was this flirting? I had never really been flirted with. I kinda hoped it was. 

“Thank you. I think? Yes. Thank you.” Holy moly I had no idea how to talk to girls. I had like, negative idea. It seemed to be working though. I was grateful for that. “You’ve got me looking forward to our date, Egbert. And we’re still talking, so that’s impressive.” She blushed a little.

Meanwhile, my face was lit up like Clark Griswold’s house on Christmas. This was amazing. I hadn’t scared her off. “Well, I’m glad we’re talking instead of getting involved in all of that-” I stopped dead in my tracks. Dave and Karkat were holding hands. I guess I had missed something. Then Dave finally spoke.

“We’re dating now, dipshits.” I was happy for them. They both deserved it. “Yes, so fuck off of my man!” Karkat exclaimed it with as much melodramatic flair as he was capable of, or at least I assume so. Maybe he was serious. Didn’t matter to me. “Congratulations guys! I’m so happy for you!” Of course Jade was excited, she had told me she hoped they would be together.

“Awe, no more psychoanalyzing your love for me? Unlucky.” Rose smirked, but it was clear she was happy for them. “Awe, you know that’ll never end.” Dave chuckled at her, looking relieved. We knew he was no stranger to her mumbo jumbo, but now he could at least be free from some of it. Roxy was asleep again. For Gog’s sakes, could she not be awake for more than a few hours at a time?

I considered telling them about my date, but decided to save it for later. Now was Dave’s time. “Hey guys, congratulations. Karkat, looks like you’ll have to stop coming after my buns.” Karkat looked offended over my statement. Vriska snickered, and looked like she wanted to speak, but chose not to. I would ask her about it later, if I remembered.

They did a bow, like actors on a Broadway stage, then took a seat. Good thing, too. This bit was dragging on. We sat in silence for a moment, simply enjoying each other's company. And then, we heard the door open. It was incredibly loud.

“What is the motherfucking ups, my bros and sisters?” Oh hell yes. Gamzee had arrived. He was chill as hell. “Gamzee! What’s up, bro?” I offered my fist, which he gladly bumped. Of course, as always, Karkat had to chime in. “Gamzee, this was a very nice happy fucking place until your bitchass walked in. Fuck you.” All the same, he offered his fist to him. 

After Dave, Sollux was his best friend. However, we also all knew that Gamzee was a very close second on that list, despite how he acted towards him. He knew it too, and never seemed to take Karkat’s words too seriously. At the end of the day, Karkat was the one who always offered to take him home when he was too high or drunk to get himself home. It was sweet. But soon, it would be time to start the karaoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so ungodly busy. I am so sorry. I will post more soon and I mean it.


	8. Karaoke, finally.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KARAAAOOKEEEEEEEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's official, more than 1 upload in 3 months. W O W.

It didn’t take more than 2 minutes for Gamzee to finally get down to business. “Let’s do some motherfucking singing my bros. Let’s goddamn get this bread.” Dave nodded in agreement. Karkat gave a shrug. Rose and Jade nodded, and so did I. But of course, nothing ever works out perfect.

“Alright! Dave, KK, you guys doing a duet or what?” Gamzee was grinning, a shiteating grin of the highest degree. Karkat turned red. “Fuck that, fuck you! No way!” He spat out. Dave put his arm around Karkat. “Dude, it’s the perfect ironic gesture. Let’s do it.” He smiled, a mischievous smile that said “I have an idea, and it will work.” 

But Karkat refused. He growled from the back of his throat. “Hell fucking no! No way at all!” He could say no as much as he liked. We all knew that he always broke down in the end. He would get worn down. Dave smirked, he knew as well as we did what was gonna end up happening. 

I decided to get the ball rolling. “I’ll start, then!” I wasn’t very good, but someone had to start. I walked to the stage, Dave got up and started up a song. The fucker had started to play Dust in the Wind. Bastard always made fun of my “windy thingy”, but I soldiered on through the song.

After I was done, Karkat was first to speak up. “Fuck sake. Play the piano for the rest of the night. Do not sing again. Please. For the love of Jegus and Gog.” He never did mince his words. But, I did as asked. I didn’t like Karkat yelling at me for long periods of time, even if he was my favorite “troll”.

“Alright motherfucker, you know what’s up. Motherfuckin miracle time.” Gamzee took the stage and pointed at me. He had a very good voice, amazing in fact, but he only did Insane Clown Posse songs, and always started with the miracles one. I had learned it on piano, even taking the liberty of giving myself a little solo to spice it up. 

He slayed it, as expected. God I wish I could sing that well. And how I wished he would sing something other than weird ass clown rap. It was sad. But he still sounded good, and it was nice to hear his voice. He seemed a bit out of it, but he was probably high. Knowing him he had smoked before heading over here.

Karkat had tried to get him to stop smoking weed for months, using such amazing arguments as “But dude NO.” and “You wanna fuckin die you fucking stupid cuntbasket?”, which was probably meant in the nicest possible way. Gamzee always had the same response. “Not a single motherfucking thing wrong with smoking God’s greatest miracle bro! No harm!”

Karkat never believed him, but Gamzee hadn’t had any problems at all that we could tell. He still outran Karkat, and acted the same as he always had according to Karkat, who would know best since they were friends since elementary school. So after a year, he simply gave up trying. He had decided that Gamzee was right, and there really was nothing wrong with it.

I had been sitting on the piano bench, spacing out yet again. “Space cadet John, Earth to John, come in John!” I stared at Rose, snapping out of my stupor. “Did Gamzee offer you a hit or something? Vriska’s waiting on you.” Lo and behold, there she was on the stage.

I wasn’t sure I would be able to focus on playing with her singing, but I nodded and began anyways. It was some upbeat song, I got really into it. She sounded incredible. Better than Gamzee, maybe even on par with Karkat, who had the best, maybe second best now, singing voice I had ever heard. It could move mountains.

I caught myself staring at her as I finished. She chuckled, looking at me with the sweetest smile. She hopped off the stage, neglecting both the small staircase and ramp which was built for Tavros, and hugged me. Goddamn it. I was flustered. I grinned, and mumbled out a small “cool!”, before Karkat finally jumped up and said “FUCK FINE TAVROS!” and pulled Dave up to the stage.

Dave had to make it as ironic as possible, playing “Don’t Go Breaking my Heart” and making Karkat be the girl. It was amazing, he did a great job. He didn’t sing often, but when he did, it was amazing. Dave was no slouch either, he had a pretty good voice in his own right, tied with Tavros for third best voice in The Scratch. I was dead last.

Actually, far from dead last. Some of the trolls were pretty bad. Equius was the absolute worst, Sollux had trouble because of all his stuttering, Terezi was… Terezi was just downright bad. But it wasn’t her fault, it was the blindness that hindered her so much. 

“Hey guys… What’s up?” Tavros entered with a smile, board games on his lap as always for when we got bored of singing. He wheeled over to the table, and stopped when he saw Vriska. “Uh… Hi…” She sputtered. “Just hi? Don’t I deserve a bit more than that, Toreadork?”

However, this conversation died before it truly lived, because of the arrival of Terezi, along with a strange girl none of us knew. “Hey, guys. This is Natalie, my girlfriend.” We all cheered jokingly, and introduced ourselves to her.   
“Hey, I’m Bonerfart Hellass.” Dave held his hand out to her, a straight face making it hard to tell he was joking. “But most people call me Dave Strider. Good to meet you.” She shook his hand and he smiled, small and quick, but certainly there. 

The rest of the introductions passed without incident. I decided not to ask Vriska why she was kind of a dick to Tavros, at least not in front of everyone. I also decided not to ask her why they were so close to each other. It could wait. And then Tavros placed Sorry on the table, and I knew it was about to go down.

“Sorry guys, I am the king of Sorry. I am warning you to step down.” I held a confident smirk on my face, I never lost at Sorry. “Well, John, I am the luckiest girl alive. You might consider giving up yourself.” She grinned at me, keeping the same energy. “Well, we’ll just have to wait and see.” And oh boy, see we did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I have any more finished, so I need to get back to writing, but at least uploads have resumed! Sorry again for the lack, I've had a lot of ideas but most of them aren't for this fic. Sorry, I'll take care of it.


End file.
